Using EFT to Collapse Anger
Most are familiar with the saying, “Depression is anger turned inward”. In my opinion, this is an over simplified statement. Many factors can come into play in the development of depression. However, unresolved anger should always be explored if you are feeling depressed. Before we discuss how to collapse the anger that may be associated with depression, let’s first take a clinical look at what anger is.
At its roots, anger is an emotional and physiological reaction to one of three things:
1) Pain – Anger as a defensive response to either an emotional or physical injury.
2) Fear – Anger as a protective response to avoid emotional or physical injury.
3) Frustration – Anger as a reaction to feeling disappointed or defeated at being unable to accomplish one's purpose or goals, or when expectations are not realized.
If we look at the physiological signs of anger – increased heart rate, sweating, clenched jaw or fists, stomach discomfort – we recognize these are also signs of the fight or flight response. In a nutshell, anger is a signal that tells us something in our environment isn’t right. It can either motivate us to take action to correct that wrong thing, or, it can protect us from feeling pain or fear by focusing the attention on the person(s) who harmed or is threatening us. Anger can also hide the reality of finding oneself in a frightening situation that makes us feel vulnerable.
Depression, relating to anger, usually sets in once a person gives up fighting a problem and loses the energy of anger. This creates the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness – two benchmarks of depression.
Anger is not well tolerated – socially, culturally, or spiritually – in most civilized societies. The Judeo-Christian tradition conceptualizes anger as a sin. I have never had a child answer “good or neither” to the question, “Is anger good or bad?” Girls are especially acculturated to suppress their anger. Adults are often heard telling children, “Don’t be mad”. Rarely are these children guided as to what to do with the energy that arises from the anger response.
Because of this intolerance, it only makes sense that if you are feeling depressed you may not be aware that suppressed anger may be the culprit. Many people who are experiencing depression often don’t know they are angry. They have literally been taught to lie to themselves about what they are experiencing. Of course, the anger doesn’t go away by denying its presence. It just gets stuffed (repressed). This can make getting to the root of the anger a bit challenging.
One technique I find particularly useful to uncover anger is an exercise I call “Paint the Picture”. If you are feeling depressed and don’t know why, I encourage you to give the following a try :
1) How do you know you’re depressed? How does your body signal you? Where do you feel it?
2) If you were to paint a picture to illustrate this feeling in your body, what would the painting look like? Close your eyes and see this painting in your mind’s eye. Does it take up the full canvas or is it very compact? What shape(s) or symbol(s) does it take on? What colors are used? Can you see through the brush strokes, or are they thick with paint?
3) What emotion does this painting represent? Just take a guess, the first thing that comes into your mind.
Anger may not be the emotion that is first identified. The first emotion you may sense is sadness. Sadness is often more safe to feel than anger. Whatever emotion you are accessing, go with it. For example: “Even though I feel this thick, red, sharp sadness, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
After a few rounds of tapping, tune into your body again and see if anything has changed. If so, mentally paint a new picture of what the feeling looks like and repeat the process.
If there was no change in the original picture, think back to the first time you remember having this feeling in your body. Now you have a “tapable” event. The “Tearless Trauma Technique” (http://www.emofree.com/trauma/tearless.htm ) is a great option at this point. If you are depressed chances are you may feel a bit vulnerable. It is best to reduce as much intensity as possible before you vividly remember specific events. If you start to feel anxious, please consult a mental health professional. You are always welcome to call me at (727) 781-6567.
“Even though I’m really angry that _ <name of the offender>_ did _<the offence>__ to me….”
Then take another intensity level. But even if the intensity is now at a zero, ask yourself, “If there were no consequences to telling this person know how angry I am/was, what would I say to them?” Use the following affirmation and reminder phrase:
“Even though I’m really angry that you _<the offence> me, and you had no right to do this, I choose to forgive you for this because you don’t deserve my energy anymore.”
Your response may be, “Forgive him/her! I can never forgive him/her.” __ me, and you had no right to do this, I choose to forgive you for this because you don’t deserve my energy anymore.”
Your response may be, “Forgive him/her! I can never forgive him/her.”
Remember, forgiveness is not about condoning the act. It’s about releasing the negative energy you’ve been carrying around…and this negative energy is taking up space where peace and joy could be! However, anger and resentment may not be easy to let go of, especially if you’ve been carrying it around for a long time. No worries, try the following:
“Even though I refuse to release this anger because I want _<name of the offender>
to have this control over me forever, I deeply and completely love and accept this anger.”
The next round of tapping use Dr. Carrington’s “Choices” (_ to have this control over me forever, I deeply and completely love and accept this anger.”
The next round of tapping use Dr. Carrington’s “Choices”
http://www.emofree.com/articles/choices.htm ). Here’s an example:
Setup: “Even though I still feel some anger that <name of the offender>_ did _<the offence>__, I choose to forgive them and release this anger.
Round One: “This __< the offence>__anger”
Round Two: Alternate tapping points using “This __< the offence>__ anger”; then “I choose forgiveness”
Round Three: “I choose forgiveness” It’s now time to check in with the body again.
It’s now time to check in with the body again. If the original feeling of depression is still there, think back to another time you have experienced this same feeling. If a specific event does not emerge, paint a new picture and start the process again. There are probably many specific memories that are contributing to your feelings of depression. However, chances are you will only have to collapse a few before your depression starts to lift.
There are other circumstances and emotions that may be contributing to your depression. If you are not getting results, please seek professional assistance. A professionally trained EFT practitioner can guide you where you need to go to clear unwanted negative energy. Everyone deserves to live life free of toxic, energy zapping emotions. You and those you love deserve to have the best you, you can be. You can have emotional freedom so you can live the life you choose to create. For a free ½ hour EFT consultation call (727) 781-6567.